Dearest (Tulips and Roses)

Dearest (Tulips and Roses) [first draft]

Stumbled upon my ignorance today
Broken news shattered my grasp
Of what was everything that we thought
And you still think it, and it's not in me to ask

Don't worry dearest
I thought he loved you too

Stumbled upon my cowardice today
I'm scared, and that's wrong, because scared means you're weak
But you walk like you're aware while I know you're not
He's found something else and he's left you alone
And he didn't even know

Don't worry dearest
I thought he loved you too

The things that happen every day
Are the ones that I'm scared to face
And the words that no one ever wants to speak
Are what has to happen every day
Tomorrow I'll say what I know today

Don't worry dearest
I thought he loved you too

Dearest, today you're not the one
He's gone, he's gone
Dearest, today you're not the one
And it breaks me to break it like this

[Edit: For the record, this song clocked in at over 6 minutes on my last recording. That's called booyah.]

You know you don't care
I know you're not there
Don't put on a face as if I'm looking to find it
Do all that you can
And pretend you're a man
You have no idea how much I wish you'd just love

While you keep it together I'm going to pretend that I don't care that you don't care
While you keep it together
While I watch you fall apart

Undefined

I hate not knowing what this is
And wishing things I shouldn't wish
I hate feeling so undefined
But it's not going away

I'm growing tired of writing songs
Because you only play along
As if these words are undefined
And my heart went away

Forgive my apathy
It keeps myself from showing
Because big girls never cry
And strength means you act like you're fine

Tears don't fall but I'm sure I'm crying
I've never been the one to say I'm not okay
I guess I should have known that I'm the only one that knows
I'll just lie and say that I don't want to talk about it

A nice little thing of somethingness.

You know you don't care
I know you're not there
Don't put on a face as if I'm looking to find it
Do all that you can
And pretend you're a man
You have no idea how much I wish you'd just love

While you keep it together I'm going to pretend that I don't care that you don't care

Sorry my perception of you got the brunt of it

I looked down like the ones that looked down on me
My heart spoke of everything I'd never want to be
And I felt the dark of those who became my scars
I'm just like them

I won't give up on me if you don't

I always end up sorry
Because I'm just like all my nightmares
I always end by falling
Because I'm too weak to break myself
But I really see you so much brighter than I let on
So I'm sorry because I'm only everything that scares me

I like this better.

[The thing about writing a song to go with a title is that it could go almost anywhere. It's cool, but annoying. You have all this power, you could take it anywhere you want, but it takes sooooooo long. *laugh* Also, I'm sort of overwriting, like I did with Jamison. So yeah. Have at it.]

You feel the way you want to feel
And you live the way you want to live
You are the real-life movie star
Living out everyone else's dreams

You see everything in technicolor and every word is a screenplay
You're the star even though you don't always shine
And every time you ever held a hand you knew exactly how it went
Because you had written it in your mind

Be careful what you wish for
You cried out for the world to be your stage
But you never said it had to stop
So it turned you into a walking, talking dream

It the romance of it all really worth it
When your dreams come true along with nightmares
And you live out your hopes along with your fears?
Did you get what you wanted after all?