I was just a stupid girl, and a stupid one at that
And you were just the one I went after because of it

You're no fool, baby, it was just me
Me being me, myself, and
I didn't know better, didn't know better,
Oh, yes, I did

I broke my own rules to follow some other game
To play this game with you
I broke my own heart to follow some other shameful, plagiarized story
Where the best boy chances to claim the lowest girl
But you'd never claim me

And I broke down hearts into particles that dissolved into thin air
Just to see if you'd take your chances, let your guard down and fall for me
To see if you'd say I was beautiful with my covered skin and softer tone
My naive spirit and my eager heart
And you said you wanted the skin, the touch, the attention of someone else
Everyone else
Everyone that did all the wrong things, and each one you've turned into a notch into your
Into your
Into my mind
Into your eyes

You were too busy with some other fantasy of sex and drugs and rock and roll
Wrapped in your rock chick girl and your rock god world
But I guess I'm just an acoustic kind of girl

metastasized.

Funny how I'm strung along
'Cause I'm just the opposite of strong
Funny how nobody saw
When I cried out so loud and long

Funny how you swore you'd be there and then you weren't
Funny how I got vulnerable and then got burned
Funny how this support system was the lie I bought

The hands on the clock indicated the darkness
And that's when I lifted arms for your aid
I hope you regret letting me think you're around

And now I remember why I always thought friendship wasn't worth it
Because it isn't


I'm pulled apart, a fibrous existence
With strings and cloth strewn all around
Behold my pieces

It's not just you this is killing
It's metastasized to my essence

You Don't Belong Here

You don't belong here, Darling
Here inside my head
You should be gone now, Darling
I've long since forsaken your wiles

Began in a day
I should have, would have known
It began in a nighttime glance
Lights dimmed, across the room, I should have known

Began with a word
I fought back, should have known
It began in the center of your eye
Lights dimmed, standing by you, you should have known

You should have known
Leave me alone
I should have known

My Dearest E, You Have Been the Death of Me

Every day that you were saved a little more
I died a little more
And every time you were better
I was less and less alive
This disease, it kills us both
But you can be saved, and I am gone.

This poison drug to save you
Poisoned my heart
Don't ask me, I don't know

How could this happen, they cry, they cry
I second the thought as I die, I die
But it's not me, it's you they are keeping alive


Just because it doesn't kill you doesn't mean it makes you stronger
I am sickened all the more by my malignant thoughts
And tortured by the poison that saves you and kills me

Nobody

I craved your attention
I yearned for your love
There was no high price

So much time spent
Aching to be lovable
And what have I learned?

Everyone breaks you
No one is sincere
The world just hates you
Nobody is here
When you would do anything
If only to hear
The voice of God in them
But nobody is here

The photos on your wall just remind me how distant everything really was

No matter how I dreamed it, I was just someone you knew

All I am is a photo of who you once were

All I was is a chance at being who you are

But she always had you figured out

And you'd lose yourself just trying to find her

Each time your eyes fall on her photo

You remember why you chased her so long

But you always had me figured out

And I'd lose myself just trying to find you

Each time my eyes fall on your photo

I remember why I chased you so long

You're not coming, and I can cope with that
If you'd just leave me alone for once
You're not coming, and I can live with that
If you'd just stop making promises for once

You swear that this time you'll make the point to stop by
You swear you love me, and everything has changed
You swear that this time you'll be a friend who gets it right
You swear that this time you won't go away

You were the brother I'd prayed for
And I was the sister, you swore
But you let everything change
When all I asked was that you'd stay

So don't tell me you're coming if you don't know
Don't tell me you're here if you're going to go
Don't say I'm worth your time if you've got none to spend

Lately You're Shattered

Today is the day I am broken for nothing
Today I need you, but you are in pieces
So I'll not call, and you'll not know
Today I'm cracked, but lately you're shattered

It's only supposed to rain on Thursdays
But today the sun just isn't enough
And I just want to be held for awhile
But you are the one who needs the holding

Every Child

But maybe every one ends up broken hearted
And maybe every child feels beaten on the inside
And maybe the light at the end is just to leave
And maybe someday I'll grow back the part of me that died

You try to tell me who I am
But you were never here to see
I swear I go deeper than you comprehend
But you were never around for me

It didn't have to happen this way
But I grew up and you grew far
Can I really be blamed for stature
Or are you to be blamed for distance?

No one runs away all at once
The first step is never out the door
You're still right there but you've been gone for so long

And With That, She Said "I Don't"

And with that, there was a crash and a burn
And she said, "I don't"

Break hearts, why don't you
The hour that your blood starts to chill
And he no longer warms you
Break down, why don't you
The garden has all died
But you could have stayed alive

You could swear that just isn't life
But I swear, I'll prove you wrong

She Was a Wreck

She Was a Wreck (This song is getting a new title when I think of one. I liked this title initially, but it's becoming a different sort of animal than I expected.)

Your silence drowned out the sounds I had made
And I was just supposed to trust you were watching me
Your gaze disconnected and landed away
And I became deaf and and dumb

And I wanted to know you
Because I thought you would dare see through me
But your silence deafened me
And I feared for the things I had disclosed

Blind child, with a heart untouched
I guess I was the one who couldn’t see
Blind child, who still loved so much
I guess you never did forget me

Blind child, with a heart untouched
I guess I was the one who ran away
Blind child, I feared so much
But I returned to prove I wanted to stay

Blind child, make me see
Through everything I hide behind
Blind child, it was just me
I was the one who was so blind