Just Because I'm Not In The School Play Doesn't Mean I Can't Still Be Dramatic (first draft)

[so, this is a bit of an experiment. The title is the genius of my friend Ben. I'm attempting to write something a little bit silly to go with it, but not without having a point *laugh* I don't like it yet, so don't be too disappointed in me.]

I've heard the stories, I've told the lies
I've passed it on as a fear in disguise
You make your point when you turn on your heel
And I hear the next day all about how you feel

Sorry to hurt your feelings, love
That's just how it goes sometimes
You know how I am, don't expect too much
I only spoke my mind

Singing, I know what you did last year
Making sure you feel the fear
I will leave no one untold
And you will watch it all unfold
And nothing more

Runaway

Will you ever see, you're just hurting me?
But we're oh, oh, oh so good at hurting
Will you ever feel, I swear this is real
You're just oh, oh, oh, so good at running
Little disbelieving runaway

Little run away child, do you know what you're running from?
Do you even know your feet are moving and the air is thinning?
Down you go, around you spin, it's a fun little spiral
But really only for you, since we're all praying you'd catch on

The Day Jamison Fell (semi-final draft, I think)

[It's definitely slimmed down, but it's better, I think]

It's surprising how easily it slips your mind
But I remember that day as if the fault was mine

Maybe we're just naive here on the dimmer grass
But we never saw it coming, never heard you running
And we never felt you lying, though that's all you ever did
But love means you trust, at least on the dimmer grass

You fell into the hole you'd been digging
The one that no one recognized
So you burned, and I burned, and I never ran
Because that's how we love here on the dimmer grass

You fell into the hole you'd been digging
My trust as the ground, your shovel being your lies
You fell into my grave you'd been digging
But not before you buried me alive

I would have stood by you until we fell
But I didn't expect you to push me down
Maybe we're just naive on the dimmer grass
But I'd have taken it for you if you'd only asked

The Day Jamison Fell (one and a halfth draft... *laugh*)

[I can't decide if this is a second draft or just a revised first draft. Maybe they're the same. Haha. I don't know.]

Dearest, I write this for you again
As a constant reminder of the pitiful end
For the hundredth time, because you'll never care
So I never bothered to tell you

Maybe we're just naive here on the dimmer grass
But we never saw it coming, never heard you running
And we never felt you lying, though that's all you ever did
But love means you trust, at least on the dimmer grass

We promised so much to your care

You put the diamonds in a box and dug until it melted
All the while saying you'd keep it safe, you promised you'd keep me safe

I begged to be a sentiment
I begged to be anything at all
And you promised until you knew I'd trust
And you swore until I thought you couldn't fall
But you fell and you tore me down with you

I sing, but you'll never listen again
I speak, but you never believed a word I said
I live, but I'll never earn another glance
You can't swallow enough to ask for a second chance

You fell into the hole you'd been digging
The one that no one recognized
So you burned, and I burned, and I never ran
Because that's how we love here on the dimmer grass

You fell into the hole you'd been digging
My trust as the ground, your shovel being your lies
You fell into my grave you'd been digging
But not before you buried me alive

I would have stood by you until we fell
But I didn't expect you to push me down
Maybe we're just naive on the dimmer grass
But I'd have taken it for you if you'd only asked

I don't care if you see the error of your ways
If you refuse to face up to the horror I faced

The Day Jamison Fell

I'd accept the apology, but you and I both know that it wasn't for me
I'd pretend to start over, but you know I gave you too much
I'd take it all back, but you buried it behind the lies
Put the diamonds in a box and dug until it melted
All the while saying you'd keep it safe, you promised you'd keep me safe

I begged to be a sentiment
I begged to be anything at all
And you promised until you knew I'd trust
And you swore until I thought you couldn't fall
But you fell and you tore me down with you

I sing, but you'll never listen again
I speak, but you never believed a word I said
I live, but I'll never earn another glance
You'll die before you ask for a second chance

Was the heat just too much for you, dearest?
Because you broke down and dove down
Into the hole that you dug for me without ever knowing why
And I just had to burn along side you
But that's how we love here on the dimmer grass

I would have stood by you until we fell
But I didn't expect you to push me down

I don't care if you see the error of your ways
If you refuse to face up to the horror I faced



[I like some of what I have going with this one. I'm going to work with it, I think. Give it more structure and see if I can maybe make it rhyme more. Thoughts would be appreciated.]

I think it's kind of bizarre... but I don't really know if that's good or bad yet...

Storms can't be helped, we just get rained on until we drown
Drown in everything that promises never to reveal itself
If you drown, take me with you and I'll swallow what I can
But I'm not making promises

Be careful what you wish for
You cried out for the world to be your stage
But you never said it had to stop
Be careful what you wish for, my beautiful drowning prince

Hmmm... let's see where we can take this...

Lock the door, lock your heart
Lock away everything you are
In a box that only we can see
So no one ever knows
Step away, step back, step down
Make it seem as if it counts
They see everything you're not
And I see what no one knows

They only love you because they can't see
They only smile because they're so naive
But you're not an angel, you're the monster
Leading all the angels on

I am the shadows, the demons, the ringing in your ears
I am the silence that convinces you you're not worthy to hear
I am the breaker of the bones that keep you standing on your own
I am everything you're running from, every fear you think you know
I am the poison that is running through your heart
I am the liar, the pretender that is tearing you apart
I am the one who laughs at you when your tears hit the floor
Because you never understood that you had everything and more

[So, I'm pretty sure some of this really sucks, but it was an idea, so I went for it. *shrug* Such is the life of a songwriter.]

Random? Perhaps. Decent? We'll see.

All alone in the dark
Singing softly to your heart
Because Heaven won't take you
And you're just not on speaking terms
Hopefully you'll regain hope
Until tomorrow makes you cope
With all of your faithless loose ends
My dear, when will you ever learn?

You cannot go on, so scream your song to all the others like you
You only live to die, you crucify the love that I try to show
You are all that's left of the ones who left you

-----

But big girls don't cry
And strength means you act like you're fine


-----


And I will never understand the way you look at me

See the clouds that dragons live in
Save me from the monsters in the playground
Run away laughing from you as you chase me
Pray that you never stop, please never stop


-----

I Am The Post Script


-----


I'm just getting really tired of wishing on airplanes

-----

I promised myself we meant forever
And I held to that as if you said it yourself
But I don't know if I'm strong enough now

Keep it together, keep it together, keep it together
I'm so sorry

Airplane Wishes (first draft)

Point the camera just to make you smile
Speak just because I know you're listening
Pray that I don't get too carried away
We couldn't have that, now could we?
Wish on airplanes because the stars are broken
Listen to all the songs that know what I mean
My head is tired of hearing it all
So I'll turn it into words I can sing

I'll tell you everything that went on
And I will sing you every single song
And I know you'd save me from a thousand fears
If only you were here

If we ruled the world and controlled all the minds
And got everything I wanted and you wanted that too
And you rescued me from everything that ever touched me
Would we ever know what we're learning